SoulMate


A soulmate or soul mate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, spirituality and/or compatibility.

I have a  Soulmate.  She is my sister/friend/soulmate.  I feel so blessed to have her in my life.  She knows me like no one else. It’s like we are cut from the same cloth.  We actually learned how to become friends with each other.  Neither one of us had developed an adult female friendship before.   We often reflect on how slow our friendship began.  And we always laugh because my first impression of her was absolutely wrong!!.  Only after we decided to place our trust in one another and began to share some intimate discussions did our friendship begin to flourish.  There has never been any DRAMA!.  Just little debates.  Life has been good to us and we have weathered many storms.  And, our bond remains solid.  We are often ech others muse.  True friendship isn’t as rare as one might think.  I believe you must become what you want to attract.  We have done that with each other, hence a sister/friend/soulmate relationship for life.

Our friendship is deeply rooted in trust and love.  We each support and encourage the other to be our best, and when we are not at our best, we are still accepted and loved.  I wish it was possible to bottle this friendship and sell it.  We would become instant Zillionaires! 

What is more practical, however, is for me to show other women how to be open and honest with themselves, to love and honor themselves, and to become the friend that she would like to have in her life.  You might not meet your SoulMate, but you will have one hellava Friend!

Mind, Body and Soul


I feed my mind by guarding it from negativity and chosing the type of positive and empowering information I allow myself to receive.  I have heard that once the mind expands, it can never retract. So, I continue to expand my knowledge base.  I remain open to the process of life.

I am also becoming a better steward of my body.  Exercising and eating healthier is my way of thanking my body for never giving up on me.  As I’ve grown older, I can truly say that I finally recognize that my body really is a Temple and should be treated as such.  I am not completely there as I understand that it is a process.

My soul is being nurtured each day by allowing myself to be transparent, organic and authentic.  I love the beautiful woman who I am, and I am open to the process of continued evolution.

The Bitter Pill


Today, while having a brainstorming of sorts, I revisited a pivotal moment in my past.  I reflected on a moment in my life when I had to swallow a bitter pill of truth.

Let me explain.  Some years ago, right after I separated from my husband I found myself as bitter as wormwood.  I was elated to be free from a 13-year relationship that was not healthy, but I was full of judgement, resentment and self-pity.  How could he do me this way?  Why was he so controlling?  Why didn’t he accept me and love me as me? The list of accusatory questions was long, I admit. 

Deep inside, I wanted my new start in life (post-husband) to be fresh, and I knew that I didn’t want to become a bitter, old ‘hag”.  I had to find ways to avert that outcome.  I just didn’t know how.  I am sure that I bought a few self-help books that I never finished reading.  I had many self-talks with myself as well.  But, the one thing I did that I can truly say started to set me free of my self-imposed prison was writing.  Writing, somehow, allowed me to dig within myself and find the truth.  Not the so-called truth that I had fed myself during the years of marriage, but the truth that only I could admit to myself, at first.

I had to peel back layer after layer of myself like an onion.  I didn’t like what I began to realize about myself.  I formed my thoughts into poems and prose.  It was amazing how it was more palpable that way, but at the same time it was gritty and gut-level honesty.   I began to answer why he could do me that way, because I “allowed” it. I answered why he couldn’t accept and love me as I was, because I “couldn’t” accept me or love me for me.  I answered why he was so controlling, because in the beginning it was easier to let him drive the relationship while I sat in the passenger seat.  In essence, I set him up for how I was to be treated.  Now, I am not saying that he was without any blame.  What I am saying is that I had to find myself in each instance where I wanted to nail him to the cross, and find the one “constant”.  That constant was me.  I was there through it all, in every situation and I allowed myself to stay longer than I should have.  I didn’t love myself enough to leave the relationship.  I allowed FEAR to rule my life.  Fear of being alone, fear of being a failure, fear that no one else would have me or love me, fear, fear, fear!!!!  That was a bitter pill to swallow, but once I did and allowed its effect to take place I began to set myself free of resentment, judgment, condemnation and distrust. 

Seeking, finding, exposing and facing my fears is how I must handle them.  Otherwise, I am paralyzed and unable to move forward.  Now, it didn’t happen over night, and believe me, there are still some remnants left from that relationship that I continue to work on.  But, I am happy to acknowledge that he and I are very cordial and have learned how to care for one another in a different way.  I feel good that I don’t have to carry that around  with me.  I have worked through it and today I am free.

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