The Unsung Goddess Episode featuring Dyuanna Mebane Part 2 04/18 by The Unsung Goddess | Blog Talk Radio
#1 Stop Procrastinating– whether it’s a project for school, report for work, re-organizing the kid’s bedroom, taking that trip, starting that home reno, or getting the pooch to the salon – Sometimes “tomorrow I’ll do it” turns into, next week, next month, next year. I always ask one of my friends when he plans on quitting smoking, implying to “star”t immediately. He always replies with a “tomorrow”, or “in a couple weeks” well… He’s been saying this for 6 years now! All we have is TODAY people! Just DO IT!
“You may delay, but time will not!” Benjamin Franklin
#2Forgive, Forgive, Forgive– Don’t hold onto stale emotions. We all have memories and feelings that run through us, play in our minds like a broken record, going round and round like a hamster on his wheel – turning even a bit crazy. Be bold and give out your…
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07/04/2012 at 11:27 PM (Inspirational, Relationships, Self Reflections)
Tags: confidence, dating, empowerment, love, personal power, priorities, relationships, self discovery, self-esteem, spirituality, women and dating
I fell and bruised my knee. Well, not literally. Allow me to explain. I stepped out of my comfort zone in January and decided to venture out into the dating scene. One of my colleagues coached me through my limiting beliefs about dating, and I found myself open to the idea. I was nervous and excited, but decided that I was going to play full out.
My first lesson was to do the choosing and not merely be chosen. This statement reminds me of a time about 10 years ago when I was very overweight. I had just began to date this guy. We had planned to hang out one Saturday, but had not decided on a specific time to meet up. Being an early riser, I prepared to have my errands completed in order to be free to enjoy the day with him. By midday, I hadn’t heard from him so I called to check-in to make sure we were still on schedule — voicemail. Okay, no problem… I’ll leave a message. I used the 4 hours that had passed to rehearse what I was going to tell him when I saw him – I was really heated! Finally, I received a knock on my door. He shows up on my doorstep as if nothing had happened. Needless to say, I was NOT having it. After all, I had blown most of my day waiting around for him. When he realized that he was no longer welcomed, he left. Later that evening he left me a voicemail. He stated “Fat girls get chosen, they do NOT do the choosing”. Those words couldn’t have stabbed me any deeper!! I still cringe thinking about it. How cruel!!! I was more than bruised by those words, but I pulled myself together and moved forward. I must say that payback is something else because after I loss about 100 pounds he called me and I couldn’t remember who he was. Who is this?? You know me from where??? Oh, that’s right! Next……
Okay, back to the present! So, I decided that I would not just settle for being “chosen”. I would participate fully in this process. After all, I’m a grown woman now. I’m 45, 100 pounds lighter, confident with a strong sense of who I am. I’m good. I’m ready. Right? Well, that was all very true. What I did differently this time, however, was to pray for discernment. I asked for guidance – and I asked God to reveal any signs that a person didn’t have my best interest at heart in a crystal clear manner. I didn’t want to be shrouded by my own desires to connect with someone and overlook what they were truly revealing to me.
I met someone whom I really connected with on different levels. I began to invest my energy and time into developing a relationship. Over time, I have learned to treat my energy and time as I would currency. They are valuable to me and I invest them wisely – they are precious resources. Unfortunately, others may not treat your energy and time with the same care or concern. After experiencing a lack of concern for my time and energy that resulted in me burning through my precious resources (time/energy), I decided that I cared more about myself, my time and energy than this person did and decided to turn the page. It wasn’t a big blow-out or argument. It wasn’t over cheating or lying. It simply came down to this fact: we teach others how to treat us. Every day and in every way, we teach others how to treat us and it is displayed by how we treat ourselves.
Another lesson that I learned is not to be angered by what is revealed to you when, after all, you prayed for discernment. Honestly, I was pissed for about 72 hours, but then I realized that it was a blessing. If you are investing time and energy into someone and making them a priority, but they treat you as an option, it’s time turn the page and begin writing your next chapter.
While taking a shower this morning, I was overcome by gratitude. It washed over me all at once. Thank GOD for answering my prayers! He saved me once again!! So metaphorically, the bruise on my “knee” will heal and I will continue to THRIVE! Thank God for RESILIENCY!!
Today was a great day for me. I kept most of the promises that I made for myself. I was slightly more determined to do so than I was yesterday. I spent the morning shopping with my father. I’m realizing that we have developed a few routines and shopping together is one of them. The sun was shining so bright and it put us in a really good mood. After we returned home and put away the groceries, I prepared myself for my Compass Top Earner’s call with our Founder Kim Fulcher. As I listened to her deliver our training, I felt extra sensitive to her message, as if it had been prepared just for me. She spoke about giving away your power and being a victim, blaming others for the wrongs in your life and gave tactical advice on how to counteract that type of thinking and behavior. She said we should embrace the inner victor and to take responsibility for our lives. She touched on a few other areas as well, but these two in particular really stayed with me. She always says “What do you want? Now, what are you going to do about it?”. I started to reflect on this after the call, but then became distracted by some of my other “to-dos”.
A few short hours later, a friend of mine asked me to send her my bio for an upcoming show for which I will be a guest. In the midst of multi-tasking and listening to the “white noise” I sent her a bio that I knew didn’t truly reflect who I am, but seemed to be more professional. The soft voice in my head suggested that I not send it, but I listened to the louder voice that said otherwise. Now, I know we ALL hear voices in our head, right? I do. And what I have learned by trial and error is that I should trust the first voice, the softer voice and not the next one that is usually cloaked in fear, hesitation and procrastination. And, almost without fail, when I follow the instructions of the louder voice the results that it yields are not what I wanted. I end up saying, “I knew I should have….”. So, this time was no different.
My phone rang and I am excited to see that it is my girlfriend. I must admit that she and I have never met face-to-face. We’ve had an online and telephone friendship for at least 3 years now. We have connected soul-to-soul, however. She “sees” me. She loves me, and I her. This I know for sure. We begin chatting it up and she shares some really deep and enlightening experiences with me that evokes deep emotions within me. She then gently asks me to rewrite my bio and share the real “me”. She called a spade a “spade”. She saw right through me. I paused and then explained. She shared some more of her own personal experiences with me. I began to cry because it was the release that I needed. I hadn’t realized that I had gotten off base within myself. She was bringing me back “home”. Back to center, back to my nucleus. It was as if a door had been opened and I was able to see “me”. The authentic me. I really needed to return back to this place so that I could remember, relate and celebrate the uniqueness that lies within me. I don’t have to “BE” anything other than the truly authentic woman who I am. The woman who is in touch with my past, but who is perfectly present.
I thank God for placing key people in my life who can help guide me back toward my path when I stumble off course. That is truly a blessing and a miracle in today’s world where people are so caught up in the competition of friendships and embracing “the haters” as if it gives them some type of credibility. I am simply humbled by the fact that I have people who love me so dearly that they will pull my coat-tail and say “hey, come back to yourself”. The training that I received earlier in the day about embracing your inner victor, coupled with the exchange between myself and Heidi (that’s the girlfriend) really moved me today. It reminds me of a saying by Susan Taylor “Give yourself to yourself before you give yourself away.”