The Unsung Goddess Episode featuring Dyuanna Mebane Part 2 04/18 by The Unsung Goddess | Blog Talk Radio
07/04/2012 at 11:27 PM (Inspirational, Relationships, Self Reflections)
Tags: confidence, dating, empowerment, love, personal power, priorities, relationships, self discovery, self-esteem, spirituality, women and dating
I fell and bruised my knee. Well, not literally. Allow me to explain. I stepped out of my comfort zone in January and decided to venture out into the dating scene. One of my colleagues coached me through my limiting beliefs about dating, and I found myself open to the idea. I was nervous and excited, but decided that I was going to play full out.
My first lesson was to do the choosing and not merely be chosen. This statement reminds me of a time about 10 years ago when I was very overweight. I had just began to date this guy. We had planned to hang out one Saturday, but had not decided on a specific time to meet up. Being an early riser, I prepared to have my errands completed in order to be free to enjoy the day with him. By midday, I hadn’t heard from him so I called to check-in to make sure we were still on schedule — voicemail. Okay, no problem… I’ll leave a message. I used the 4 hours that had passed to rehearse what I was going to tell him when I saw him – I was really heated! Finally, I received a knock on my door. He shows up on my doorstep as if nothing had happened. Needless to say, I was NOT having it. After all, I had blown most of my day waiting around for him. When he realized that he was no longer welcomed, he left. Later that evening he left me a voicemail. He stated “Fat girls get chosen, they do NOT do the choosing”. Those words couldn’t have stabbed me any deeper!! I still cringe thinking about it. How cruel!!! I was more than bruised by those words, but I pulled myself together and moved forward. I must say that payback is something else because after I loss about 100 pounds he called me and I couldn’t remember who he was. Who is this?? You know me from where??? Oh, that’s right! Next……
Okay, back to the present! So, I decided that I would not just settle for being “chosen”. I would participate fully in this process. After all, I’m a grown woman now. I’m 45, 100 pounds lighter, confident with a strong sense of who I am. I’m good. I’m ready. Right? Well, that was all very true. What I did differently this time, however, was to pray for discernment. I asked for guidance – and I asked God to reveal any signs that a person didn’t have my best interest at heart in a crystal clear manner. I didn’t want to be shrouded by my own desires to connect with someone and overlook what they were truly revealing to me.
I met someone whom I really connected with on different levels. I began to invest my energy and time into developing a relationship. Over time, I have learned to treat my energy and time as I would currency. They are valuable to me and I invest them wisely – they are precious resources. Unfortunately, others may not treat your energy and time with the same care or concern. After experiencing a lack of concern for my time and energy that resulted in me burning through my precious resources (time/energy), I decided that I cared more about myself, my time and energy than this person did and decided to turn the page. It wasn’t a big blow-out or argument. It wasn’t over cheating or lying. It simply came down to this fact: we teach others how to treat us. Every day and in every way, we teach others how to treat us and it is displayed by how we treat ourselves.
Another lesson that I learned is not to be angered by what is revealed to you when, after all, you prayed for discernment. Honestly, I was pissed for about 72 hours, but then I realized that it was a blessing. If you are investing time and energy into someone and making them a priority, but they treat you as an option, it’s time turn the page and begin writing your next chapter.
While taking a shower this morning, I was overcome by gratitude. It washed over me all at once. Thank GOD for answering my prayers! He saved me once again!! So metaphorically, the bruise on my “knee” will heal and I will continue to THRIVE! Thank God for RESILIENCY!!
Today was a great day for me. I kept most of the promises that I made for myself. I was slightly more determined to do so than I was yesterday. I spent the morning shopping with my father. I’m realizing that we have developed a few routines and shopping together is one of them. The sun was shining so bright and it put us in a really good mood. After we returned home and put away the groceries, I prepared myself for my Compass Top Earner’s call with our Founder Kim Fulcher. As I listened to her deliver our training, I felt extra sensitive to her message, as if it had been prepared just for me. She spoke about giving away your power and being a victim, blaming others for the wrongs in your life and gave tactical advice on how to counteract that type of thinking and behavior. She said we should embrace the inner victor and to take responsibility for our lives. She touched on a few other areas as well, but these two in particular really stayed with me. She always says “What do you want? Now, what are you going to do about it?”. I started to reflect on this after the call, but then became distracted by some of my other “to-dos”.
A few short hours later, a friend of mine asked me to send her my bio for an upcoming show for which I will be a guest. In the midst of multi-tasking and listening to the “white noise” I sent her a bio that I knew didn’t truly reflect who I am, but seemed to be more professional. The soft voice in my head suggested that I not send it, but I listened to the louder voice that said otherwise. Now, I know we ALL hear voices in our head, right? I do. And what I have learned by trial and error is that I should trust the first voice, the softer voice and not the next one that is usually cloaked in fear, hesitation and procrastination. And, almost without fail, when I follow the instructions of the louder voice the results that it yields are not what I wanted. I end up saying, “I knew I should have….”. So, this time was no different.
My phone rang and I am excited to see that it is my girlfriend. I must admit that she and I have never met face-to-face. We’ve had an online and telephone friendship for at least 3 years now. We have connected soul-to-soul, however. She “sees” me. She loves me, and I her. This I know for sure. We begin chatting it up and she shares some really deep and enlightening experiences with me that evokes deep emotions within me. She then gently asks me to rewrite my bio and share the real “me”. She called a spade a “spade”. She saw right through me. I paused and then explained. She shared some more of her own personal experiences with me. I began to cry because it was the release that I needed. I hadn’t realized that I had gotten off base within myself. She was bringing me back “home”. Back to center, back to my nucleus. It was as if a door had been opened and I was able to see “me”. The authentic me. I really needed to return back to this place so that I could remember, relate and celebrate the uniqueness that lies within me. I don’t have to “BE” anything other than the truly authentic woman who I am. The woman who is in touch with my past, but who is perfectly present.
I thank God for placing key people in my life who can help guide me back toward my path when I stumble off course. That is truly a blessing and a miracle in today’s world where people are so caught up in the competition of friendships and embracing “the haters” as if it gives them some type of credibility. I am simply humbled by the fact that I have people who love me so dearly that they will pull my coat-tail and say “hey, come back to yourself”. The training that I received earlier in the day about embracing your inner victor, coupled with the exchange between myself and Heidi (that’s the girlfriend) really moved me today. It reminds me of a saying by Susan Taylor “Give yourself to yourself before you give yourself away.”
I am celebrating my friendship with a very special person! I wanted to share this with all of you today! Enjoy!
26/02/2011 at 7:05 PM (Affirmations, Healthly Living, Inspirational, Relationships, Self Reflections, Words of Wisdom)
Tags: Acts of Faith, affirmations, confidence, empower, empowerment, In The Meantime, inspiration, Iyanla Vanzant, Life coach, life coaching course, motivation, motivational speaker, personal development, personal growth, personal power, self discovery, self help, self-esteem, spiritual strength, spirituality, transformation, truth
I am my single most important investment. It has taken me years to completely embrace this idea. I spent many years investing in my outward appearance. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that it isn’t important to be presentable and dress nicely. After all, your first impression is what people see. What I am saying, however, is that it is as important, dare if I say more important to invest in yourself as it relates to your authentic self, and nurturing your spiritual and personal growth. As I pondered my thoughts while writing this, I had to consider what I deemed important at different stages of my life. A nice purse, a sexy pair of shoes, my nails and hair immaculate, of course. Whether I could afford the “real” thing or not, it would “look” as if I could. Let’s consider these next few items…
Investing in yourself is P•R•I•C•E•L•E•S•S!
How do you invest in yourself? Well, I invest in myself by purchasing books that expand my base of knowledge, challenge me and enlighten me. I attend conferences and seminars that will enrich my life experience, my business or my skill set. I have more recently invested in a monthly coaching program. I also invest in myself by making sure I have the kind of people I respect, admire and can learn from are in my inner AND outer circle. Another way to invest in yourself is by listening more and talking less. This is a freebie! Lastly, I invest in my spiritual development. I have a spiritual family that includes my church family as well as those friends who are pursuing their spirituality in other forms. I participate in spiritual activities and surround myself with spiritual people whenever I can.
When you begin to invest as much money and time IN yourself as you spend ON yourself you are well on your way to becoming a total package. What is it worth to you to invest in yourself?
On March 1st, my Compass business will offer a new MAP (monthly action plan) that will be an amazing experience for those who decide to join me and hundreds of other ladies. “One Day My Soul Just Opened Up:40 Days and 40 Nights Toward Spiritual Strength and Personal Growth” by Dr. Iyanla Vanzant, the bestselling author of Acts of Faith and In The Meantime. “One Day…” has been broken down into 3 months of 2 to 3-minute daily online coaching sessions, 5 days a week.
I extend the offer to every woman who finds herself reading this blog post to invest in the next 90-days of your life by joining me for this MAP. The experience will be priceless!
Now, buckle-up and hold on tight!!
For many years, my desire has been to help women to transform themselves and the world around them. I was not always crystal clear on the exact formula to accomplish this, but I did understand that it all began on the inside. I have always been in touch with my inner-self although not always in a positive way. I remember how I would retreat inwardly to scold myself or to place myself on punishment, and verbally abuse myself. Almost like a parent abusing a child behind closed doors, but having the appearance of a happy family in public. That would describe how I treated myself for many years.
What I began to realize is that my outward appearance didn’t match how I truly felt on the inside, and people were beginning to figure that out. You see, no matter what a person appears to be on the outside, you can almost always tell how they really feel about themselves when you talk with them. For instance, if you compliment them on their dress or appearance, you will almost always receive a negative response that deflects the positive compliment. In other words, they are not able to receive compliments. When a person feels good about themselves they simply reply ‘Thank You’.
As the abused child began to show up more and more in my conversations and behavior, I became more frustrated because I only wanted to show the strong, confident and savvy woman who I aspired to become. I was in serious conflict and I needed to do something about this and fast!
Naturally, I went to a few bookstores and bought a few self-help books with the understanding that once I read the book I would be fixed. Wrong! It didn’t work like that for me because as I read the information, I analyzed it and counseled myself. I didn’t have a third-party assist me or correct misinterpretations of the information I may have read, so the problem thinking only improved incrementally. I did this over and over again, expecting that each book would be like a magic wand and make all of my problems disappear. Wrong again! I made very small steps forward, but still there was progression and my desire to help other women on grew.
As I bounced back from strife and situations I began to see that I had been gifted with a resilient nature. I also believe that my mother instilled that and encouraged me in that way as well. I realized that if I continued to get back up off the ground, retreat inward and work on “ME”, that I would improve myself and my life even if it was only gradually. As I matured and became aware of therapy I sought out that type of help through counseling, but I quickly realized that it was very expensive. That adventure didn’t last long, and I went back to what I knew best. Books!
Now, 15 plus years later, I am still here. I didn’t “check out” like I wanted to do on several occasions. I am still here. I kept getting back up, dusting myself off and moving forward. I am still here. My desire to help women continues and has long since been put into motion. I am still here. I know without a doubt what my Purpose is in life. I am still here. I now have the perfect Opportunity that is allowing me to fulfill my Purpose. I am still here. And now I have COMPASS as my guide. And, yes, I believe that is one reason why I am still here.
Compass is a personal development company committed to improving the lives of women through affordable coaching programs and services. It was Founded by Kimberly Fulcher in 2002, whose vision was to make sure women had affordable access to coaching services worldwide. COMPASS is revolutionizing the industry of professional coaching. Whether you want to lose weight, take control of your finances, improve your relationships, or just find time for yourself, COMPASS has an action plan for women and teens.
I was so inspired and excited to know that I could take advantage of these services in 5 areas of my life – Life Balance, Money & Career, Relationships, Wellness and Spirit. This is what I had been searching for half of my life. It is like having a Personal Trainer for my Life! If there had been a company like this when I was a teenage girl I would have taken advantage of these services a long time ago.
Since there is no time like the present, I am taking full advantage of this opportunity. Not only am I receiving coaching, but also as a Certified COMPASS Representative, I am positioning myself to become a Certified COMPASS Coach as well. I couldn’t be happier in my life knowing that finally, I am in the right place at the right time in my life, and I have all these tools at my disposal to make my dreams a reality! COMPASS was my missing link.
- A fantastic sequence of haphazardly associative imagery, as seen in dreams or fever.
- A constantly changing scene composed of numerous elements.
- Fantastic imagery as represented in art.
So, I received a phone call from a good friend of mine. It’s been several months since we’ve spoken, but we pick up right where we last left off. Well, not exactly. The beauty of this relationship is that we have both been actively transitioning and transforming and, yet, we are on the same page in between many months of conversations.
It’s a beautiful feeling when a male and female friend can come together like he and I have. We are truly friends with benefits of being open, honest and loving. Truly platonic. You probably wouldn’t place us together based on our outward appearances, but we are truly cut from the same cloth.
We spoke for about 2 1/2 hours. We laughed and talked over each other in the excitment of sharing. It was wonderful. He’s an artist of life and has the need to express in through different mediums, as well as attracting and showcasing other artists. He’s a beautiful spririt.
Below is one of his artistic experiments entitled “Phantasmagoria”. So, now that you have been introduced to the definition of Phantasmagoria and the person behind the message, please view his project:
–> PHANTASMAGORIA <–
I have nothing but love for you Shaun Gladwell
I know what it’s like when the weight of waking up becomes heavier than just falling asleep forever. I am not endorsing suicide, but I can relate to and admit that I, too, have been in that dark place where it seems to be the only option that is acceptable. After viewing this video footage, I sense that Fantasia has a renewed passion for life and is beginning to believe that she has a much larger purpose to fulfill. I want to extend my support to her as well as other women who feel that they are alone in this world. A problem shared is a problem cut in half. Reach out to someone so that they can in turn reach out to you. You will be amazed by your own resilience. I was. And, I am most proud of my bounce-back ability. I might get kicked down, but I will continue to get back up until my last breath. Life is good….
Yesterday, my dear friend Keisha married her best friend Terrance. These two were united in holy matrimony, and it was a humbling experience to behold two beautiful individuals, each having their own unique and loving qualities, come together to form a partnership.
Their union brought together family and friends from both sides. An introduction and meshing of positive, supportive and loving souls that I was not expecting to meet, nor be impacted by the powerful spirits of the women that were gathered to celebrate this marriage.
I am truly looking forward to cultivating these new relatioships. I have been open to receiving new, rich, relationships with people, and by allowing my openess, I am reaping the rewards for my actions.
I am brimming with excitement. I had a MAJOR breakthrough experience Sunday morning. I fellowshiped at Temple of Healing Waters in Sterling, Virginia. The message that was delivered was specifically for me. I was deeply inspired, motivated and most importantly, validated my dream. I am searching for the words to describe the experience, but they fail me. One thing that I know for sure, is that I can never return to the way I thought the day before. I am a new person.
Since I have taken action on developing and expanding my mind, nurturing my body, and feeding my spirit in a more balanced manner, I stand in AWE of what God and the Universe places in my hands on a daily basis. My mission is to utilize those gifts and positively impact those who cross my path.
I have a Soulmate. She is my sister/friend/soulmate. I feel so blessed to have her in my life. She knows me like no one else. It’s like we are cut from the same cloth. We actually learned how to become friends with each other. Neither one of us had developed an adult female friendship before. We often reflect on how slow our friendship began. And we always laugh because my first impression of her was absolutely wrong!!. Only after we decided to place our trust in one another and began to share some intimate discussions did our friendship begin to flourish. There has never been any DRAMA!. Just little debates. Life has been good to us and we have weathered many storms. And, our bond remains solid. We are often ech others muse. True friendship isn’t as rare as one might think. I believe you must become what you want to attract. We have done that with each other, hence a sister/friend/soulmate relationship for life.
Our friendship is deeply rooted in trust and love. We each support and encourage the other to be our best, and when we are not at our best, we are still accepted and loved. I wish it was possible to bottle this friendship and sell it. We would become instant Zillionaires!
What is more practical, however, is for me to show other women how to be open and honest with themselves, to love and honor themselves, and to become the friend that she would like to have in her life. You might not meet your SoulMate, but you will have one hellava Friend!