Life Lessons!


{Hungry Heart}{Thirsty Mind}

#1 Stop Procrastinating– whether it’s a project for school, report for work, re-organizing the kid’s bedroom, taking that trip, starting that home reno, or getting the pooch to the salon – Sometimes “tomorrow I’ll do it” turns into, next week, next month, next year. I always ask one of my friends when he plans on quitting smoking, implying to “star”t immediately.  He always replies with a “tomorrow”, or “in a couple weeks” well… He’s been saying this for 6 years now! All we have is TODAY people! Just DO IT!

“You may delay, but time will not!” Benjamin Franklin

#2Forgive, Forgive, Forgive– Don’t hold onto stale emotions. We all have memories and feelings that run through us, play in our minds like a broken record, going round and round like a hamster on his wheel – turning even a bit crazy. Be bold and give out your…

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Fire Alarms and Horror Movies


Lately, I have become more attuned to listening to the soft voice of my spirit.  Do you listen to that voice?  The one that whispers an idea, a warning, a gentle nudge forward.  The one you hear just before that LOUD and OBNOXIOUS voice SCREAMS and says NO, WAIT, UH OH YOU CAN’T.  It’s the voice of doubt and hesitation with its cousins chiming in signing the chorus of FEAR!  We have become accustomed to  listening to the loudest voices we hear and following suit with their instructions.  Most times we end up with regret and say something like “I KNEW I should have just…” or “I KNEW I shouldn’t have…”  When that happens, why do we continue to listen to that voice?

If you are sitting in your office at your place of employment and the fire alarm goes off do you get up and look for the source of the fire?  Do you walk around hoping to smell smoke or see a flame before you evacuate the premises? Or, is the sound of the alarm enough to suggest to you “exit the building… NOW!”  Have you seen a horror flick where a woman might be walking home at night, decides to take the scenic route through the woods, hears the crack of a branch behind her then turns around and asks “Who’s there?”  She proceeds to walk in the direction of the sound and well… I think you know what happens to her, right?  You are sitting in the chair screaming “RUN GIRL GET OUT OF THERE!!!”

I believe that the first voice you hear is your soft “alarm”.  Not necessarily only warning you of danger, but also guiding you along your journey toward your purpose.  I believe it is the voice of God whispering and guiding you.  The more “still” you become, the clearer and louder the voice becomes to you.  If you believe that you are a child of God and that He has unconditional love for you then you will begin to trust that He will guide you in the direction in which you should go.  If you are always talking,  moving and listening to the tones of chaos how can you listen for His guidance? 

I am practicing my listen skills.  I am learning more about the Creator so that I am able to understand how He works and moves in my life.  I simply refuse to take the scenic route through the  woods, following those cracking sounds of braking branches that ultimately lead to my demise.   I am still, asking for guidance, listening, receiving and following the Light.

What is it worth to you?


I am my single most important investment.  It has taken me years to completely embrace this idea.  I spent many years investing in my outward appearance.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I am not saying that it isn’t important to be presentable and dress nicely.  After all, your first impression is what people see.  What I am saying, however, is that it is as important, dare if I say more important to invest in yourself as it relates to your authentic self, and nurturing your spiritual and personal growth.  As I pondered my thoughts while writing this, I had to consider what I deemed important at different stages of my life.  A nice purse, a sexy pair of shoes, my nails and hair immaculate, of course.  Whether I could afford the “real” thing or not, it would “look” as if I could.  Let’s consider these next few items…


This could easily be an investment of $349 for this Coach purse.


This investment is approximately $870 – Louis Vuitton Marbella shoes.

 


A decent Mani/Pedi is about $70.

 


Weaves, well they can cost upwards of $1,000 or more!

Investing in yourself is P•R•I•C•E•L•E•S•S!

 

How do you invest in yourself?  Well, I invest in myself by purchasing books that expand my base of knowledge, challenge me and enlighten me.  I attend conferences and seminars that will enrich my life experience, my business or my skill set.  I have more recently invested in a monthly coaching program.  I also invest in myself by making sure I have the kind of people I respect, admire and can learn from are in my inner AND outer circle.  Another way to invest in yourself is by listening more and talking less.  This is a freebie! Lastly, I invest in my spiritual development.  I have a spiritual family that includes my church family as well as those friends who are pursuing their spirituality in other forms.  I participate in spiritual activities and surround myself with spiritual people whenever I can.

When you begin to invest as much money and time IN yourself as you spend ON yourself you are well on your way to becoming a total package.  What is it worth to you to invest in yourself?

On March 1st, my Compass business will offer a new MAP (monthly action plan) that will be an amazing experience for those who decide to join me and hundreds of other ladies.  “One Day My Soul Just Opened Up:40 Days and 40 Nights Toward Spiritual Strength and Personal Growth” by Dr. Iyanla Vanzant, the bestselling author of Acts of Faith and In The Meantime.  “One Day…” has been broken down into 3 months of 2 to 3-minute daily online coaching sessions, 5 days a week.

I extend the offer to every woman who finds herself reading this blog post to invest in the next 90-days of your life by joining me for this MAP.  The experience will be priceless!

If you are curious about the contents of this book, take a sneak peek here.  If you are ready to enter your Soul, sign up here.

Now, buckle-up and hold on tight!!

Believe in the Power of You! – DeLores Pressley 1/29 @ 8aET


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DeLores Pressley, Motivational Speaker and Personal Power Expert, is one of the most respected and sought-after experts on confidence, motivation and personal power. She is an international keynote speaker, author, coach and the Founder of the Born Successful Institute and the CEO of DeLores Pressley Worldwide. She helps individuals increase confidence and use personal power to activate their ideal life.

Her story has been touted in Glamour, Washington Post, Black Enterprise, Success, Essence, New York Daily News and Ebony. She is a frequent media guest and has been interviewed on every major network: (ABC, NBC, CBS and FOX) including America’s top rated shows; OPRAH and Entertainment Tonight.

DeLores has spoken to thousands of people in over 77 major cities and countries. She is the author of Oh, Yes You CanClean Out the Closet of Your Life and Believe in the Power of You. She has received many awards and recognitions for her work including Top Ten Business Owners by the National Association of Women Business Owners (NAWBO) & Key Bank Corporation, Outstanding Community Service Award from the University of Akron and ATHENA Finalist sponsored by Inside Business Magazine.

DeLores created Speak to Grow Your Business, an educational program teaching entrepreneurs, speakers and coaches how to speak and grow their business. She serves as the President of The ABCD, Inc. Board and Treasurer of the Ohio Chapter of the National Speakers Association Board. She is the Co-Host of radio show; “Wriggling in the Middle” heard on WHBC 1480am.

You are cordially invited to join us for the TOTALPackage™ Weekly Women’s Forum on Saturday, Jan 29 @ 8am ET. We will be discussing the topic “Believe in the Power of You”, hosted by our featured guest speaker, DeLores Pressley.

Who are the Phenomenal Women in Your Life?


I wanted to celebrate this Phenomenal Woman and ask women in general, who are the phenomenal women in your life?

Dr. Maya Angelou is a remarkable Renaissance woman who is hailed as one of the great voices of contemporary literature.  She is a  poet, educator, historian, best-selling author, actress, playwright, civil-rights activist, producer and director.  

Born on April 4th, 1928, in St. Louis, Missouri, Dr. Angelou was raised in St. Louis and Stamps, Arkansas. In Stamps, Dr. Angelou experienced the brutality of racial discrimination, but she also absorbed the unshakable faith and values of traditional African-American family, community, and culture.

As a teenager, Dr. Angelou’s love for the arts won her a scholarship to study dance and drama at San Francisco’s Labor School. At 14, she dropped out to become San Francisco’s first African-American female cable car conductor. She later finished high school, giving birth to her son, Guy, a few weeks after graduation. As a young single mother, she supported her son by working as a waitress and cook, however her passion for music, dance, performance, and poetry would soon take center stage.

In 1954 and 1955, Dr. Angelou toured Europe with a production of the opera Porgy and Bess. She studied modern dance with Martha Graham, danced with Alvin Ailey on television variety shows and, in 1957, recorded her first album, Calypso Lady. In 1958, she moved to New York, where she joined the Harlem Writers Guild, acted in the historic Off-Broadway production of Jean Genet’s The Blacks and wrote and performed Cabaret for Freedom.

In 1960, Dr. Angelou moved to Cairo, Egypt where she served as editor of the English language weekly The Arab Observer. The next year, she moved to Ghana where she taught at the University of Ghana’s School of Music and Drama, worked as feature editor for The African Review and wrote for The Ghanaian Times.

During her years abroad, Dr. Angelou read and studied voraciously, mastering French, Spanish, Italian, Arabic and the West African language Fanti. While in Ghana, she met with Malcolm X and, in 1964, returned to America to help him build his new Organization of African American Unity.

Shortly after her arrival in the United States, Malcolm X was assassinated, and the organization dissolved. Soon after X’s assassination, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. asked Dr. Angelou to serve as Northern Coordinator for the Southern Christian Leadership Conference. King’s assassination, falling on her birthday in 1968, left her devastated.

[THIS INTRODUCTION ABOVE WAS BORROWED FROM MAYA ANGELOU’S WEBSITE] Continue reading about this Phenomenal Woman by visiting her Official website

I love this poem so much and I believe that she is one of the most intriguing women of our time.  The poem below is only one of my favorites!

PHENOMENAL WOMAN

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a womanPhenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Fantasia – TV Interview after Recent Suicide Attempt.


I know what it’s like when the weight of waking up becomes heavier than just falling asleep forever. I am not endorsing suicide, but I can relate to and admit that I, too, have been in that dark place where it seems to be the only option that is acceptable.  After viewing this video footage, I sense that Fantasia has a renewed passion for life and is beginning to believe that she has a much larger purpose to fulfill.   I want to extend my support to her as well as other women who feel that they are alone in this world.  A problem shared is a problem cut in half.  Reach out to someone so that they can in turn reach out to you. You will be amazed by your own resilience.  I was.  And, I am most proud of my bounce-back ability. I might get kicked down, but I will continue to get back up until my last breath.     Life is good…. 

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Fantasia – First ever TV interview after her re…, posted with vodpod

 

Developing Your TotalPackage


SoulMate


A soulmate or soul mate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, spirituality and/or compatibility.

I have a  Soulmate.  She is my sister/friend/soulmate.  I feel so blessed to have her in my life.  She knows me like no one else. It’s like we are cut from the same cloth.  We actually learned how to become friends with each other.  Neither one of us had developed an adult female friendship before.   We often reflect on how slow our friendship began.  And we always laugh because my first impression of her was absolutely wrong!!.  Only after we decided to place our trust in one another and began to share some intimate discussions did our friendship begin to flourish.  There has never been any DRAMA!.  Just little debates.  Life has been good to us and we have weathered many storms.  And, our bond remains solid.  We are often ech others muse.  True friendship isn’t as rare as one might think.  I believe you must become what you want to attract.  We have done that with each other, hence a sister/friend/soulmate relationship for life.

Our friendship is deeply rooted in trust and love.  We each support and encourage the other to be our best, and when we are not at our best, we are still accepted and loved.  I wish it was possible to bottle this friendship and sell it.  We would become instant Zillionaires! 

What is more practical, however, is for me to show other women how to be open and honest with themselves, to love and honor themselves, and to become the friend that she would like to have in her life.  You might not meet your SoulMate, but you will have one hellava Friend!

The Bitter Pill


Today, while having a brainstorming of sorts, I revisited a pivotal moment in my past.  I reflected on a moment in my life when I had to swallow a bitter pill of truth.

Let me explain.  Some years ago, right after I separated from my husband I found myself as bitter as wormwood.  I was elated to be free from a 13-year relationship that was not healthy, but I was full of judgement, resentment and self-pity.  How could he do me this way?  Why was he so controlling?  Why didn’t he accept me and love me as me? The list of accusatory questions was long, I admit. 

Deep inside, I wanted my new start in life (post-husband) to be fresh, and I knew that I didn’t want to become a bitter, old ‘hag”.  I had to find ways to avert that outcome.  I just didn’t know how.  I am sure that I bought a few self-help books that I never finished reading.  I had many self-talks with myself as well.  But, the one thing I did that I can truly say started to set me free of my self-imposed prison was writing.  Writing, somehow, allowed me to dig within myself and find the truth.  Not the so-called truth that I had fed myself during the years of marriage, but the truth that only I could admit to myself, at first.

I had to peel back layer after layer of myself like an onion.  I didn’t like what I began to realize about myself.  I formed my thoughts into poems and prose.  It was amazing how it was more palpable that way, but at the same time it was gritty and gut-level honesty.   I began to answer why he could do me that way, because I “allowed” it. I answered why he couldn’t accept and love me as I was, because I “couldn’t” accept me or love me for me.  I answered why he was so controlling, because in the beginning it was easier to let him drive the relationship while I sat in the passenger seat.  In essence, I set him up for how I was to be treated.  Now, I am not saying that he was without any blame.  What I am saying is that I had to find myself in each instance where I wanted to nail him to the cross, and find the one “constant”.  That constant was me.  I was there through it all, in every situation and I allowed myself to stay longer than I should have.  I didn’t love myself enough to leave the relationship.  I allowed FEAR to rule my life.  Fear of being alone, fear of being a failure, fear that no one else would have me or love me, fear, fear, fear!!!!  That was a bitter pill to swallow, but once I did and allowed its effect to take place I began to set myself free of resentment, judgment, condemnation and distrust. 

Seeking, finding, exposing and facing my fears is how I must handle them.  Otherwise, I am paralyzed and unable to move forward.  Now, it didn’t happen over night, and believe me, there are still some remnants left from that relationship that I continue to work on.  But, I am happy to acknowledge that he and I are very cordial and have learned how to care for one another in a different way.  I feel good that I don’t have to carry that around  with me.  I have worked through it and today I am free.

MINE YOUR SOUL™


Mine:
verb – to avail oneself of or draw useful or valuable material from;
noun – an abundant source;

Soul:
noun – the emotional part of human nature; the seat of the feelings or sentiments; deeply felt emotion.

It’s my belief, that many women suffer from a fear of Greatness.  And, they suffer in silence. This fear cripples them and stunts their growth as women. The symptoms of this type of fear affects their self-perception and sense of value.

Having experienced these battles personally, as a Life Strategist and Founder of MineYourSoul ™, I use my life experiences, references and dedication to self-development to help women work through these challenges and provide a strategic partnership.

When women partner with me, they will realize that they are not alone in their journey, have the security in knowing that they are supported during the refinement process, and ultimately develop into the precious gems they were designed to be. 

Let us MineYourSoul™ together….

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