I remember that little girl…


It’s been quite a while since I last wrote an entry.  I decided today was the day to share some of my self reflections.  It’s almost like a poem, but not really.   It’s the only way I could share my story so bare with me…

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When I was a little girl

I had such a small voice that never seemed to be heard
too afraid to yell or tell
because her threats were very persuasive
and the reason why I tried to be evasive
whenever I was in her presence
because she was stealing a child’s innocence
never once did she stop to think
how that would affect me years later
and oh, how I tried not to hate her

And He liked to touch me, too
every chance he got
a massage to my shoulder
a caress to my thigh
as a developing young girl
I never understood why
my body had begun to deceive me
I was still a child, couldn’t they see?
but my body swelled in areas that seemed to attract
hands and fingers from her, him and them and I could not keep them back
But why?!?
what had I done and how could I make them stop?
my mind had yet to catch up to my growing body
often I cried and asked why me

my legs where shapely and athletic, bronzed from playing in the sun
jumping rope, playing kickball or whatever was fun

my hips and breasts were becoming firm and round
resembling that of a grown woman
but, I was only nine, ten and eleven

yet, the seeds had been planted
and each new experience would only fertilize the grounds
that allowed me to question my morality
and for which I had once based my sexuality

However, on this day I confess what I have only disclosed to a few
I will no longer be held in bondage for today I start anew!

Thank you, Lord, I have forgiven them: she and he

I am tortured no longer, finally, I have been set FREE!!!

ilovemyself

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What is it worth to you?


I am my single most important investment.  It has taken me years to completely embrace this idea.  I spent many years investing in my outward appearance.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I am not saying that it isn’t important to be presentable and dress nicely.  After all, your first impression is what people see.  What I am saying, however, is that it is as important, dare if I say more important to invest in yourself as it relates to your authentic self, and nurturing your spiritual and personal growth.  As I pondered my thoughts while writing this, I had to consider what I deemed important at different stages of my life.  A nice purse, a sexy pair of shoes, my nails and hair immaculate, of course.  Whether I could afford the “real” thing or not, it would “look” as if I could.  Let’s consider these next few items…


This could easily be an investment of $349 for this Coach purse.


This investment is approximately $870 – Louis Vuitton Marbella shoes.

 


A decent Mani/Pedi is about $70.

 


Weaves, well they can cost upwards of $1,000 or more!

Investing in yourself is P•R•I•C•E•L•E•S•S!

 

How do you invest in yourself?  Well, I invest in myself by purchasing books that expand my base of knowledge, challenge me and enlighten me.  I attend conferences and seminars that will enrich my life experience, my business or my skill set.  I have more recently invested in a monthly coaching program.  I also invest in myself by making sure I have the kind of people I respect, admire and can learn from are in my inner AND outer circle.  Another way to invest in yourself is by listening more and talking less.  This is a freebie! Lastly, I invest in my spiritual development.  I have a spiritual family that includes my church family as well as those friends who are pursuing their spirituality in other forms.  I participate in spiritual activities and surround myself with spiritual people whenever I can.

When you begin to invest as much money and time IN yourself as you spend ON yourself you are well on your way to becoming a total package.  What is it worth to you to invest in yourself?

On March 1st, my Compass business will offer a new MAP (monthly action plan) that will be an amazing experience for those who decide to join me and hundreds of other ladies.  “One Day My Soul Just Opened Up:40 Days and 40 Nights Toward Spiritual Strength and Personal Growth” by Dr. Iyanla Vanzant, the bestselling author of Acts of Faith and In The Meantime.  “One Day…” has been broken down into 3 months of 2 to 3-minute daily online coaching sessions, 5 days a week.

I extend the offer to every woman who finds herself reading this blog post to invest in the next 90-days of your life by joining me for this MAP.  The experience will be priceless!

If you are curious about the contents of this book, take a sneak peek here.  If you are ready to enter your Soul, sign up here.

Now, buckle-up and hold on tight!!

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