07/04/2012 at 11:27 PM (Inspirational, Relationships, Self Reflections)
Tags: confidence, dating, empowerment, love, personal power, priorities, relationships, self discovery, self-esteem, spirituality, women and dating
I fell and bruised my knee. Well, not literally. Allow me to explain. I stepped out of my comfort zone in January and decided to venture out into the dating scene. One of my colleagues coached me through my limiting beliefs about dating, and I found myself open to the idea. I was nervous and excited, but decided that I was going to play full out.
My first lesson was to do the choosing and not merely be chosen. This statement reminds me of a time about 10 years ago when I was very overweight. I had just began to date this guy. We had planned to hang out one Saturday, but had not decided on a specific time to meet up. Being an early riser, I prepared to have my errands completed in order to be free to enjoy the day with him. By midday, I hadn’t heard from him so I called to check-in to make sure we were still on schedule — voicemail. Okay, no problem… I’ll leave a message. I used the 4 hours that had passed to rehearse what I was going to tell him when I saw him – I was really heated! Finally, I received a knock on my door. He shows up on my doorstep as if nothing had happened. Needless to say, I was NOT having it. After all, I had blown most of my day waiting around for him. When he realized that he was no longer welcomed, he left. Later that evening he left me a voicemail. He stated “Fat girls get chosen, they do NOT do the choosing”. Those words couldn’t have stabbed me any deeper!! I still cringe thinking about it. How cruel!!! I was more than bruised by those words, but I pulled myself together and moved forward. I must say that payback is something else because after I loss about 100 pounds he called me and I couldn’t remember who he was. Who is this?? You know me from where??? Oh, that’s right! Next……
Okay, back to the present! So, I decided that I would not just settle for being “chosen”. I would participate fully in this process. After all, I’m a grown woman now. I’m 45, 100 pounds lighter, confident with a strong sense of who I am. I’m good. I’m ready. Right? Well, that was all very true. What I did differently this time, however, was to pray for discernment. I asked for guidance – and I asked God to reveal any signs that a person didn’t have my best interest at heart in a crystal clear manner. I didn’t want to be shrouded by my own desires to connect with someone and overlook what they were truly revealing to me.
I met someone whom I really connected with on different levels. I began to invest my energy and time into developing a relationship. Over time, I have learned to treat my energy and time as I would currency. They are valuable to me and I invest them wisely – they are precious resources. Unfortunately, others may not treat your energy and time with the same care or concern. After experiencing a lack of concern for my time and energy that resulted in me burning through my precious resources (time/energy), I decided that I cared more about myself, my time and energy than this person did and decided to turn the page. It wasn’t a big blow-out or argument. It wasn’t over cheating or lying. It simply came down to this fact: we teach others how to treat us. Every day and in every way, we teach others how to treat us and it is displayed by how we treat ourselves.
Another lesson that I learned is not to be angered by what is revealed to you when, after all, you prayed for discernment. Honestly, I was pissed for about 72 hours, but then I realized that it was a blessing. If you are investing time and energy into someone and making them a priority, but they treat you as an option, it’s time turn the page and begin writing your next chapter.
While taking a shower this morning, I was overcome by gratitude. It washed over me all at once. Thank GOD for answering my prayers! He saved me once again!! So metaphorically, the bruise on my “knee” will heal and I will continue to THRIVE! Thank God for RESILIENCY!!
29/03/2011 at 10:55 AM (Affirmations, Inspirational, Self Reflections, Words of Wisdom)
Tags: inspiration, spiritual strength, spirituality
Lately, I have become more attuned to listening to the soft voice of my spirit. Do you listen to that voice? The one that whispers an idea, a warning, a gentle nudge forward. The one you hear just before that LOUD and OBNOXIOUS voice SCREAMS and says NO, WAIT, UH OH YOU CAN’T. It’s the voice of doubt and hesitation with its cousins chiming in signing the chorus of FEAR! We have become accustomed to listening to the loudest voices we hear and following suit with their instructions. Most times we end up with regret and say something like “I KNEW I should have just…” or “I KNEW I shouldn’t have…” When that happens, why do we continue to listen to that voice?
If you are sitting in your office at your place of employment and the fire alarm goes off do you get up and look for the source of the fire? Do you walk around hoping to smell smoke or see a flame before you evacuate the premises? Or, is the sound of the alarm enough to suggest to you “exit the building… NOW!” Have you seen a horror flick where a woman might be walking home at night, decides to take the scenic route through the woods, hears the crack of a branch behind her then turns around and asks “Who’s there?” She proceeds to walk in the direction of the sound and well… I think you know what happens to her, right? You are sitting in the chair screaming “RUN GIRL GET OUT OF THERE!!!”
I believe that the first voice you hear is your soft “alarm”. Not necessarily only warning you of danger, but also guiding you along your journey toward your purpose. I believe it is the voice of God whispering and guiding you. The more “still” you become, the clearer and louder the voice becomes to you. If you believe that you are a child of God and that He has unconditional love for you then you will begin to trust that He will guide you in the direction in which you should go. If you are always talking, moving and listening to the tones of chaos how can you listen for His guidance?
I am practicing my listen skills. I am learning more about the Creator so that I am able to understand how He works and moves in my life. I simply refuse to take the scenic route through the woods, following those cracking sounds of braking branches that ultimately lead to my demise. I am still, asking for guidance, listening, receiving and following the Light.
26/02/2011 at 7:05 PM (Affirmations, Healthly Living, Inspirational, Relationships, Self Reflections, Words of Wisdom)
Tags: Acts of Faith, affirmations, confidence, empower, empowerment, In The Meantime, inspiration, Iyanla Vanzant, Life coach, life coaching course, motivation, motivational speaker, personal development, personal growth, personal power, self discovery, self help, self-esteem, spiritual strength, spirituality, transformation, truth
I am my single most important investment. It has taken me years to completely embrace this idea. I spent many years investing in my outward appearance. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that it isn’t important to be presentable and dress nicely. After all, your first impression is what people see. What I am saying, however, is that it is as important, dare if I say more important to invest in yourself as it relates to your authentic self, and nurturing your spiritual and personal growth. As I pondered my thoughts while writing this, I had to consider what I deemed important at different stages of my life. A nice purse, a sexy pair of shoes, my nails and hair immaculate, of course. Whether I could afford the “real” thing or not, it would “look” as if I could. Let’s consider these next few items…
This could easily be an investment of $349 for this Coach purse.
This investment is approximately $870 – Louis Vuitton Marbella shoes.
A decent Mani/Pedi is about $70.
Weaves, well they can cost upwards of $1,000 or more!
Investing in yourself is P•R•I•C•E•L•E•S•S!
How do you invest in yourself? Well, I invest in myself by purchasing books that expand my base of knowledge, challenge me and enlighten me. I attend conferences and seminars that will enrich my life experience, my business or my skill set. I have more recently invested in a monthly coaching program. I also invest in myself by making sure I have the kind of people I respect, admire and can learn from are in my inner AND outer circle. Another way to invest in yourself is by listening more and talking less. This is a freebie! Lastly, I invest in my spiritual development. I have a spiritual family that includes my church family as well as those friends who are pursuing their spirituality in other forms. I participate in spiritual activities and surround myself with spiritual people whenever I can.
When you begin to invest as much money and time IN yourself as you spend ON yourself you are well on your way to becoming a total package. What is it worth to you to invest in yourself?
On March 1st, my Compass business will offer a new MAP (monthly action plan) that will be an amazing experience for those who decide to join me and hundreds of other ladies. “One Day My Soul Just Opened Up:40 Days and 40 Nights Toward Spiritual Strength and Personal Growth” by Dr. Iyanla Vanzant, the bestselling author of Acts of Faith and In The Meantime. “One Day…” has been broken down into 3 months of 2 to 3-minute daily online coaching sessions, 5 days a week.
I extend the offer to every woman who finds herself reading this blog post to invest in the next 90-days of your life by joining me for this MAP. The experience will be priceless!
If you are curious about the contents of this book, take a sneak peek here. If you are ready to enter your Soul, sign up here.
Now, buckle-up and hold on tight!!