What is it worth to you?

I am my single most important investment.  It has taken me years to completely embrace this idea.  I spent many years investing in my outward appearance.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I am not saying that it isn’t important to be presentable and dress nicely.  After all, your first impression is what people see.  What I am saying, however, is that it is as important, dare if I say more important to invest in yourself as it relates to your authentic self, and nurturing your spiritual and personal growth.  As I pondered my thoughts while writing this, I had to consider what I deemed important at different stages of my life.  A nice purse, a sexy pair of shoes, my nails and hair immaculate, of course.  Whether I could afford the “real” thing or not, it would “look” as if I could.  Let’s consider these next few items…

This could easily be an investment of $349 for this Coach purse.

This investment is approximately $870 – Louis Vuitton Marbella shoes.


A decent Mani/Pedi is about $70.


Weaves, well they can cost upwards of $1,000 or more!

Investing in yourself is P•R•I•C•E•L•E•S•S!


How do you invest in yourself?  Well, I invest in myself by purchasing books that expand my base of knowledge, challenge me and enlighten me.  I attend conferences and seminars that will enrich my life experience, my business or my skill set.  I have more recently invested in a monthly coaching program.  I also invest in myself by making sure I have the kind of people I respect, admire and can learn from are in my inner AND outer circle.  Another way to invest in yourself is by listening more and talking less.  This is a freebie! Lastly, I invest in my spiritual development.  I have a spiritual family that includes my church family as well as those friends who are pursuing their spirituality in other forms.  I participate in spiritual activities and surround myself with spiritual people whenever I can.

When you begin to invest as much money and time IN yourself as you spend ON yourself you are well on your way to becoming a total package.  What is it worth to you to invest in yourself?

On March 1st, my Compass business will offer a new MAP (monthly action plan) that will be an amazing experience for those who decide to join me and hundreds of other ladies.  “One Day My Soul Just Opened Up:40 Days and 40 Nights Toward Spiritual Strength and Personal Growth” by Dr. Iyanla Vanzant, the bestselling author of Acts of Faith and In The Meantime.  “One Day…” has been broken down into 3 months of 2 to 3-minute daily online coaching sessions, 5 days a week.

I extend the offer to every woman who finds herself reading this blog post to invest in the next 90-days of your life by joining me for this MAP.  The experience will be priceless!

If you are curious about the contents of this book, take a sneak peek here.  If you are ready to enter your Soul, sign up here.

Now, buckle-up and hold on tight!!


The Bitter Pill

Today, while having a brainstorming of sorts, I revisited a pivotal moment in my past.  I reflected on a moment in my life when I had to swallow a bitter pill of truth.

Let me explain.  Some years ago, right after I separated from my husband I found myself as bitter as wormwood.  I was elated to be free from a 13-year relationship that was not healthy, but I was full of judgement, resentment and self-pity.  How could he do me this way?  Why was he so controlling?  Why didn’t he accept me and love me as me? The list of accusatory questions was long, I admit. 

Deep inside, I wanted my new start in life (post-husband) to be fresh, and I knew that I didn’t want to become a bitter, old ‘hag”.  I had to find ways to avert that outcome.  I just didn’t know how.  I am sure that I bought a few self-help books that I never finished reading.  I had many self-talks with myself as well.  But, the one thing I did that I can truly say started to set me free of my self-imposed prison was writing.  Writing, somehow, allowed me to dig within myself and find the truth.  Not the so-called truth that I had fed myself during the years of marriage, but the truth that only I could admit to myself, at first.

I had to peel back layer after layer of myself like an onion.  I didn’t like what I began to realize about myself.  I formed my thoughts into poems and prose.  It was amazing how it was more palpable that way, but at the same time it was gritty and gut-level honesty.   I began to answer why he could do me that way, because I “allowed” it. I answered why he couldn’t accept and love me as I was, because I “couldn’t” accept me or love me for me.  I answered why he was so controlling, because in the beginning it was easier to let him drive the relationship while I sat in the passenger seat.  In essence, I set him up for how I was to be treated.  Now, I am not saying that he was without any blame.  What I am saying is that I had to find myself in each instance where I wanted to nail him to the cross, and find the one “constant”.  That constant was me.  I was there through it all, in every situation and I allowed myself to stay longer than I should have.  I didn’t love myself enough to leave the relationship.  I allowed FEAR to rule my life.  Fear of being alone, fear of being a failure, fear that no one else would have me or love me, fear, fear, fear!!!!  That was a bitter pill to swallow, but once I did and allowed its effect to take place I began to set myself free of resentment, judgment, condemnation and distrust. 

Seeking, finding, exposing and facing my fears is how I must handle them.  Otherwise, I am paralyzed and unable to move forward.  Now, it didn’t happen over night, and believe me, there are still some remnants left from that relationship that I continue to work on.  But, I am happy to acknowledge that he and I are very cordial and have learned how to care for one another in a different way.  I feel good that I don’t have to carry that around  with me.  I have worked through it and today I am free.

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